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Managing differences... Every person primarily prefers to be around those who are like themselves—those who smile like them, make similar choices, and have similar interests. The Experiential Design Teaching explains why some individuals are very similar to each other, why others differ greatly, and how people with different characteristics can act together effectively.
It is normal for individuals who perceive life differently and make decisions through varying systems to clash at times. The important thing is to understand the source of these differences and manage them effectively. For some people, having a plan and adhering to it is critical, while they might not wish to work with those who live spontaneously. This disorganization can wear them out, and they may end up having to complete all the tasks alone if deadlines are missed. Thus, they prefer to communicate with similar individuals. On the other hand, those who enjoy to live life in the flow often struggle to follow plans and rules. Therefore, they avoid being with people who like to live orderly and try to find those who are similiar to them.
Can Communication Be Good Without Accepting Differences?
When something becomes monotonous, it starts to repeat itself and stagnate. Something that stagnates cannot develop and become better than it was yesterday. When a water stream is blocked from flowing, it eventually becomes stagnant, potentially leading to algae growth and pollution, turning into a swamp over time. While neither water nor soil is garbage, they can transform into undesirable forms when they’re not allowed to adapt according to their nature.
The saying
"A flowing stream does not become stagnant" reflects that moving water is always cleaner. The movement helps separate it from harmful substances due to gravitational forces, the permeability of the land it flows through and other factors. The soil acts as a filter for the water while simultaneously increasing its own fertility. Therefore, those who act not only according to their own wishes and needs but also preserve their positive characteristics while benefiting others with this, rise to a higher league. This collaboration between water and soil benefits both parties. Because those who are different can add something to each other. Experiential Design Teaching develop strategies on how different things can benefit each other while preserving positive features.
If a tree were to insist on being independent, rejecting any form of communication or saying "I do not want water to enter my branches; I do not want to depend on the soil," it would sound foolish, wouldn’t it? Sure, a tree has the ability to photosynthesize, but it needs the minerals of water and soil for this process. An individual might be excellent at verbal communication, even sought after for this skill. However, even such a person may seek out those with a similar communication style. It’s often said that individuals weak in verbal communication have disadvantages in social settings. Another group emphasizes the importance of silence, they hide behind the saying, “If speech is silver, silence is gold,” and says that those who talk too much will also speak wrongly.
How to Decide Whether Differences Are Good or Bad?
No individual is inherently good or bad; they have good or bad behaviors. Water is fluid, so no one can blame it, just as no one can demand accountability from a rock for being solid. It is known that this is its natural structure and they do not have the authority to change it. However, if water were to act randomly, causing floods in some areas and droughts in others, it would definitely become something we would want to get rid of. Likewise, if water chose not to evaporate despite rising temperatures, life on Earth could not continue. Plants would not be able to expel the water inside them and take on new ones, humans would not be able to sweat out excess heat, when they exercised and the water under the ground could not evaporate into the sky, be cleaned and return as rain.
The absence of these processes signifies stagnation, and stagnant water begins to grow moss. In other words; stagnation means extinction. However, all substances, regardless of whether it is solid, liquid or gas, adapts to their own physical laws and the laws of life. While achieving this harmony, it also acts according to the limits of what is not in its own structure. Therefore, a transfer of experience occurs from those without free will.
Preserve your positive characteristics, act in harmony with the laws, and while doing this do not violate the limitations of those who are not like you. An individual who can say "no" to harmful things while being inclined to say "yes" to every request is in a winning position. Someone who cannot help but say no to everything, adds an advantage to himself when he can say yes when he encounters useful things.
The key is for individuals to add qualities they do not inherently possess to themselves. Those who act according to needs and the laws, not desires, are destined to win. The path to achieving this begins with accepting oneself first, then the other party… The Experiential Design Teaching who is Who Seminar clarifies the reasons behind behavioral differences and how to manage them.
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