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THİNK AGAİN

Yahya Hamurcu

Polat called Hale last night and easily convinced her to go out for dinner with him, which surprised even him. Hale was usually very cautious and didn't like going out in the evenings. Polat looked into Hale's eyes for a long time and said,

“What’s this beauty? There’s something different about you.”

“Yes, the scent of an orange peel on the metro reminded me how much I miss my home, my mother, my hometown, and my childhood. It felt like it brought all of them back to me.”

Hale missed it all deeply: the peace and happiness of her childhood memories and her family, who saw her, respected her, and acknowledged her presence. Now, in the big city, everything was too fast and ever-changing. People were like Russian nesting dolls, constantly transforming into something new. “This transformation terrifies me; the speed takes my breath away,” Hale said.

Polat, on the other hand, was in love with this speed. Being able to drive fast in traffic with the attention of a battlefield soldier and catch the bargains on the shelves during the amazing November sales was very important to him. Visiting different places in a single day was also a pleasure. He built his relationships on changeability. Here today, there tomorrow... But when he sought a moment of calm and peace, he was by Hale's side... “You are my calm, peaceful harbor,” he would tease Hale.

Hale's gaze enchanted Polat. He had already fallen in love with those eyes. When he first saw her, he thought, “This is the girl I've been looking for.” In reality, they were very different from each other. While Hale was slow and calm, Polat was fast and wildly energetic. Did he have a goal or a purpose he wanted to achieve? ... It wasn't clear. He changed his mind so often and did so many things at once that it made your head spin. Sometimes he would tire of his own pace and long for Hale in those moments. Because Hale would listen to him so calmly. Hale’s ability to listen so well, to calm him down, her peaceful gaze... He wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.

His feelings were pushing him to make a decision... “Yes, I will propose to Hale. We will have a very happy marriage. We will travel from country to country, collecting memories. Then we will sit down and tell our friends and children about them.”

The best time to propose was on Teachers' Day. It was just a few days away. And it was a very important day for Hale. Because her deceased mother was a teacher. Hale would be especially sad that day. Polat would give her a reason to be happy instead of sad.

Polat didn't want to talk about death, war, poverty, or sad things. He didn't even want to remember that they existed. He believed that we only live once, so we should enjoy life. Thus, he carefully prepared a marriage proposal ceremony. He practiced what he would say many times. He imagined the moment she would accept, walking around with a huge smile on his face. When Hale said “YES” to a man as intelligent, cheerful, quick-witted, and full of life as herself, she would surely be over the moon. She would wrap her arms around his neck and laugh, saying, “Yes, yes, yes...”

It was with these dreams that Polat had invited Hale to dinner. Polat was aware of how much Hale was saddened by the children who had died in the war, and he also knew that the overly colorful decor of the extravagant restaurant they had come to was bothering her. When the moment he had been waiting for finally came and he made his proposal, Hale's joy seemed to vanish, and she slumped in her seat. She fell into silence and stared at her food. She didn't say a word until the evening was over.

Polat had been agonizing over it since last night, trying to understand how he had been silently rejected. The girl he called the love of his life hadn't even bothered to explain herself. She had ended the evening without saying a word. He wished he had never put himself in this situation. What had happened?

Walking through the streets at night, looking at the dry leaves filling the autumn streets, he thought angrily. He had fallen like those leaves, separated from the tree trunk. She had built such high walls around herself so quickly that he could no longer reach her. He couldn't figure out why this had happened. Polat wanted justice. He had put a lot of effort into this relationship.

But had he really put in so much effort? What does it mean to put effort into a relationship? Does it mean thinking a lot about your own desires, your own dreams, and your own expectations? Does it mean expecting the other person to care about the things that matter to you? Or does it mean asking more effective questions, such as, "What does this person want?" What is on their agenda? What are their expectations from life? What are their expectations from the relationship?

Asking the right questions in relationships isn't always easy, especially when our emotions are running high. A question like “Will you marry me?” asked solely out of the pleasantness of one's emotions, without any depth, ends up feeling hollow. To ask the right question, one must think carefully.

Polat began to think again...

&

Deneyimsel Tasarım Öğretisi, gerçeklikle beslenen bir strateji ilmidir.

Deneyimsel Tasarım Öğretisi; insanın gerçek amacını amaç edinmiştir: Mutlu ve başarılı olmak…
Deneyimsel Tasarım Öğretisi; Kim Kimdir, İlişkilerde Ustalık, Başarı Psikolojisi, Sakınmada Ustalık programlarını sunar. Böylece insanların mutlu ve başarılı olmalarına katkı sağlar.

"İnsanoğlu, yeryüzünde var olduğundan beri
En büyük dostu ve düşmanı hiç değişmedi. 
Aynadaki kişi...
Tek başına neler yapabileceğini keşfet!" 


 

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