Polat called Hale last night and easily
convinced her to go out for dinner with him, which surprised even him. Hale was
usually very cautious and didn't like going out in the evenings. Polat looked
into Hale's eyes for a long time and said,
“What’s this beauty? There’s something
different about you.”
“Yes, the scent of an orange peel on the
metro reminded me how much I miss my home, my mother, my hometown, and my
childhood. It felt like it brought all of them back to me.”
Hale missed it all deeply: the peace and
happiness of her childhood memories and her family, who saw her, respected her,
and acknowledged her presence. Now, in the big city, everything was too fast
and ever-changing. People were like Russian nesting dolls, constantly
transforming into something new. “This transformation terrifies me; the speed
takes my breath away,” Hale said.
Polat, on the other hand, was in love with
this speed. Being able to drive fast in traffic with the attention of a
battlefield soldier and catch the bargains on the shelves during the amazing
November sales was very important to him. Visiting different places in a single
day was also a pleasure. He built his relationships on changeability. Here
today, there tomorrow... But when he sought a moment of calm and peace, he was
by Hale's side... “You are my calm, peaceful harbor,” he would tease Hale.
Hale's gaze enchanted Polat. He had already
fallen in love with those eyes. When he first saw her, he thought, “This is the
girl I've been looking for.” In reality, they were very different from each
other. While Hale was slow and calm, Polat was fast and wildly energetic. Did
he have a goal or a purpose he wanted to achieve? ... It wasn't clear. He
changed his mind so often and did so many things at once that it made your head
spin. Sometimes he would tire of his own pace and long for Hale in those moments.
Because Hale would listen to him so calmly. Hale’s ability to listen so well,
to calm him down, her peaceful gaze... He wanted to be with her for the rest of
his life.
His feelings were pushing him to make a
decision... “Yes, I will propose to Hale. We will have a very happy marriage.
We will travel from country to country, collecting memories. Then we will sit
down and tell our friends and children about them.”
The best time to propose was on Teachers'
Day. It was just a few days away. And it was a very important day for Hale.
Because her deceased mother was a teacher. Hale would be especially sad that
day. Polat would give her a reason to be happy instead of sad.
Polat didn't want to talk about death, war,
poverty, or sad things. He didn't even want to remember that they existed. He
believed that we only live once, so we should enjoy life. Thus, he carefully
prepared a marriage proposal ceremony. He practiced what he would say many
times. He imagined the moment she would accept, walking around with a huge
smile on his face. When Hale said “YES” to a man as intelligent, cheerful,
quick-witted, and full of life as herself, she would surely be over the moon.
She would wrap her arms around his neck and laugh, saying, “Yes, yes, yes...”
It was with these dreams that Polat had
invited Hale to dinner. Polat was aware of how much Hale was saddened by the
children who had died in the war, and he also knew that the overly colorful
decor of the extravagant restaurant they had come to was bothering her. When
the moment he had been waiting for finally came and he made his proposal,
Hale's joy seemed to vanish, and she slumped in her seat. She fell into silence
and stared at her food. She didn't say a word until the evening was over.
Polat had been agonizing over it since last
night, trying to understand how he had been silently rejected. The girl he
called the love of his life hadn't even bothered to explain herself. She had
ended the evening without saying a word. He wished he had never put himself in
this situation. What had happened?
Walking through the streets at night,
looking at the dry leaves filling the autumn streets, he thought angrily. He
had fallen like those leaves, separated from the tree trunk. She had built such
high walls around herself so quickly that he could no longer reach her. He
couldn't figure out why this had happened. Polat wanted justice. He had put a
lot of effort into this relationship.
But had he really put in so much effort?
What does it mean to put effort into a relationship? Does it mean thinking a
lot about your own desires, your own dreams, and your own expectations? Does it
mean expecting the other person to care about the things that matter to you? Or
does it mean asking more effective questions, such as, "What does this
person want?" What is on their agenda? What are their expectations from
life? What are their expectations from the relationship?
Asking the right questions in relationships
isn't always easy, especially when our emotions are running high. A question
like “Will you marry me?” asked solely out of the pleasantness of one's
emotions, without any depth, ends up feeling hollow. To ask the right question,
one must think carefully.
Polat began to think again...
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